Part One: The Waiting is the Hardest Part

"If patience is the key, it justifies apathy."

I've never been any good at waiting. I pace eagerly around airport terminals, weave aggressively around slow drivers, and flash a well-refined "evil eye" at those Dunkin Donut's craftsmen in charge of toasting my bagel: hurry up. 

This ineptitude is both a blessing and a curse.