Part Two: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Being 17 (Again)

In January’s “part-one” post, I whined about my inability to weather, ungrudgingly, the droning New England winter and lackluster early-spring months that follow.

I then promised a “part two” post in which I’d divvy out some tips on how to make the best of this in-between time. And, although I've spent the last month trying in vain to unearth these seemingly impossible methods, I've got, well, nothing.

Time to Improvise

Coincidentally, I Snapchatted
this picture of Lena. 

I’ll spare you from elaborating on any of the, ahem, “exciting” activities I've tried to bide my time with, such as forcibly acquiring a new taste for aged scotch, sending out massive amounts of mindless “Snapchats,” or watching episodes of HBO’s GIRLS and feeling better about myself because I am NOT Lena Dunham.

What I will share is an uplifting story about the highlight of my January/February: a snowboarding trip up to Vermont with three teenage, I’m talking 16 and 17 year-old, boys.

Part One: The Waiting is the Hardest Part

"If patience is the key, it justifies apathy."

I've never been any good at waiting. I pace eagerly around airport terminals, weave aggressively around slow drivers, and flash a well-refined "evil eye" at those Dunkin Donut's craftsmen in charge of toasting my bagel: hurry up. 

This ineptitude is both a blessing and a curse.

A Time to Give Thanks For...

• Endings. A bit morbid, but really, good riddance to that horrifically obnoxious presidential election and painfully pitiful Red Sox season.
• Beginnings. Winter, or more specifically, time to shred snow. 
• Revivals. Arrested Development. YES. Rife with anticipation.

• Baxter. His nose, paws, fur, freckles, soul, general existence, and fervor for life (plus all things edible).

Confessions of a Has-Been Trick-or-Treater

Then

Is this a sick joke? My parents left me alone at our house on Halloween.

Now

Okay, so since I spent the weekend in NYC partying my pre-hurricane, “lioness” tail off, I decided I would stay in on this Wednesday "Halloween" evening.

Admittedly, I’ve been suffering from deathly, flu-like symptoms, so I figured I’d be responsible and rest up for the weekend’s festivities.

Anyways, I left work early and told my parents, who commute back to the ‘burbs from their jobs in Boston each night, that I would manage the “trick-or-treat” duties until they arrived home. Mind you, this is the first time I’ve been at my actual home in my childhood neighborhood for Halloween since like, middle school.

Eyes on the Road, Hands Up on the Wheel

"Yeah, we're goin' to the Roadhouse, gonna have a real, good time.." 

The other night I was driving home and started speeding. I started speeding, turned up the music, and pressed my foot to the pedal even harder. I took a sharp turn onto Granite, a windy, narrow, hilly street that weaves through the suburban back roads of my hometown.

But god, do I know that street like the back of my hand. It’s one of two roads I can choose from to access my neighborhood of 23 years.

Think Before You Drink: Annoying Things Chicks Do in Bar Bathrooms.

TALK (/GOSSIP). The bathroom is a particularly rich goldmine for gossip. Girls say practically anything in front of practically anyone once intoxicated and in the welcome respite of… the bathroom (so classy). I feel dumber for having ever been exposed to some of the airhead bathroom gossip I’ve witnessed.
“Like, Isn’t Jimmy totally digging me out there?!” Like yeah, now get back out there and, like, do something about it already.

HOG THE MIRROR/SINK. Giiiirl, you DO NOT NEED ANYMORE MAKEUP. It’s not going to help. And your butt looks spectacular (suuure) in that $19.99 H&M mini-skirt, no need to check it out from every angle. And please do not use the bathroom mirror to take sleazy, pucker-lipped self photos. Just DON'T.

LEGAL HARBORSIDE: LOVING IT

Why Legal's Three-Story, Flagship Venture Has Quickly

Become Boston's Best New Restaurant

Disagree? You haven't been yet, have you? Let this article (and maybe that “Best New Restaurant” accolade from Esquire) inspire you to pay the venue a visit.

I have the pleasure of knowing the man at Legal’s helm, Executive Chef/Vice President Rich Vellante, so much of what I tell you will be straight from the horse's mouth. And let me tell you, in the Kentucky-Derby league of horses, Rich is the "I'll Have Another" of chefs. I was lucky enough to sit down and grab an interview with him, so hey, if you don't want to take my word for it (or you're just not into the whole "reading thing”) watch the video and see for yourself.